Talk is Cheap … Add value with Action!

She was so small, had a sweet smile and spoke amazingly fast, masha’allah. I met her at a fundraising bazaar. Let’s call her sister S.  I found what had transpired that day interesting to watch. Or should I say encouraging and comforting. Early that day sister S was offered a laptop to use. She was also offered a lift home with a group of other sisters. Sister S was well received in a community that she did not attend and attracted positive response. I loved her energy and enthusiasm, may Allah protect her.

By now you may be thinking “What was the sister selling?” Considering that she shared the registration table, her merchandise could’ve not been substantial, yes?

With a few leaflets, cards, a couple of pens and a clipboard sister S was raising awareness and collecting signatures for Baber Ahmed. What’s the story with Babar Ahmad?. She believed in his innocence and knew a lot about him as a person i.e. his upbringing, his education, work etc. She was not going to gain anything from this endeavour of hers. The aim of the day was to tell people, collect signatures and pray the numbers add up!

It was encouraging and comforting to see Allah’s gifts upon sister S. Free laptop so people can access the website directly and sign the petition. A ride home with a group of sisters who lived in her local area which in turn meant she could stay longer and collect more signatures. The attendees were curious and receptive.  I remember hearing a sister saying that she saw Baber Ahmed’s name on someone’s Facebook wall but, for whatever reason, she didn’t check it out. This was the first time she’s been able to ask a “real” person. She signed the petition and took some leaflets.

Only Allah knows what other gifts He bestowed upon sister S. These were some of the things that were visible to me. It made me marvel at Allah’s smaller but vital gifts that we are presented with every day of our lives. Yet, we incredibly fail to notice and choose to feel deprived. Sheikh Yahya once said: “One of the mysteries of life is the things you overlook the most are in fact of the greatest essentials in your life. You overlook the breath you take until you have an asthma attack. You overlook the breath you take until you choke on a bean” AlKauthar’s Out of Sight 2011.

I pray that sister S’s intentions behind her actions and exemplary conduct were purely for the sake of Allah; for the sake of supporting and aiding a brother in need and sharing with others the opportunity to stand for what is right.

 

Until next time,

Salams & Eid Mubarak

 

Lose your Ego, Find your Compassion

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All Change!

Have you heard the hadith “When the month of Ramadan enters, gates of Paradise are opened, gates of Hell are closed and devils are chained.” Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim? A question that comes to mind when this hadith is read: “Why is it that we are struggling with our acts of worship or bad habits even though the devils are chained?”. One response is: “Because Shytan (the devil) has trained us so well throughout the  year that we are on auto mode now!”. Have we paused to consider that change may not be happening because of us and not the commonly blamed reasons of family, credit crunch, weight etc?

 

Do you really want to Change?

Actions are by intentions. So what is our intention from making a change? Is it coming from within us or something that has been imposed by others? Do you feel that you have to stop smoking your health and stamina or because it’s too cold to smoke outside? Do you want to learn Arabic to be able to converse with the people when you go on holiday or to be able to understand the Quran when recited? Are you studying medicine because dad said so or because you can hear its calling?  The intention behind an action determines the level of motivation and ability to keep going especially when faced with obstacles. So ask yourself, do you really want to change?  

 

Too Risky!

Have you heard of the phrase ‘Comfort Zone’? It’s a zone where everything is comfortable. Not because it’s easy but because it’s predictable and doesn’t involve any loses. The catch is that it doesn’t involve any gains either. Making a change by its nature will mean a step out of that comfort zone. When doing something new the outcomes will be new and the fear is that these outcomes may not be favourable. Focusing only on the negatives does not allow for a balanced view.

Here is where the qualities of belief in Allah and his decree are needed. No one knows the future but once the person does their homework, seeks proper counsel and prays their istikhara they should be good to go.   

 

Outside Inside

I was talking to some of our relatives today and we kinda agreed that one of the main reasons for not changing was others influence on us. Or to be precise, it is us allowing others to influence us. It is natural to want to belong. But when they become a hindrance to ones development and progress then that’s a whole different story. Work on your confidence and self esteem. Express yourself in a clear, respectful and assertive manner and hopefully the message will be received, soon. This may take time but if you want change you’ll find a way. After all Allah has blessed you with the faculty of mind and thought so use them.

The influence of others isn’t always negative. Being in the company of scholars, righteous people and the type of people you want to be of will rub on you and show it’s effects with time. If one is struggling with their prayer and one day they happen to be in the company of those who not just pray but pray on time in congregation would they just sit there and say I’ll pray later on my own? I doubt it. This company is aiding this person against their laziness.

 

Subhanallah, every Ramadan we hope that Allah accepts our fasting, prayer and other good deeds. Let’s ask Allah to accept them from us this year too. And let’s also pray and act to ensure that this month’s effects last beyond those 29/30 days. What kind of change do we hope for after Ramadan in ourselves, state of iman, health, wealth, the wellbeing of our families and the state of the Ummah. Magnify that dua. We are all in need of Allah’s grace and mercy.  

 

Superheroes Inspired by Islam

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{“Our Lord,” Moses replied, “is who gave everything its creation and then guided it”} The Quran 20:50

… in just over 5minutes

 

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Kalemni Arabi

 

One of my classmates was telling us about her experience when she was learning Arabic. A group of them went to Syria and went out on to the streets to do a survey as a way of practising their Arabic. Many of them came back feeling quite upset. It’s wasn’t that they did not know what to say or how to pronounce the words. Many of the people on the street would say to them “kalimni Arabi” that is “Speak to me in Arabic!”. The students were puzzled. That was what they were doing; the students were stopping people and speaking got them in what is called modern standard Arabic. That version of Arabic which is used in the papers, on the news and many articles on the web but (and here was the catch) people on the street did not use it in their everyday communication. Of course, with time and as my classmate progressed in her course she was able to grasp that concept and now we converse well even though I tend to speak Gulf Arabic and she Levantine Arabic.  

Communication is not only dependant on the spoken words, it’s the tone those words are spoken in and the body language that presents all of that.  The same way that many of those Syrian passers-by kept pressing on those students to use a language they were more comfortable to communicate with it is worth noting that people around us will have their own language they would prefer us to communicate to them with.

Have you noticed how some people are softly spoken and others are much louder. Cultural differences do play a role and also their upbringing and the person’s environment. Others are so animated and even though they may be distracting for you to speak to that is how they feel they can better express themselves. And there are the silent types. Not much is said but their face and body speak volumes; folded arms, bright smile, inviting look, frowning brows etc. The first step is to take note. I wouldn’t say there’s right or wrong answer. It’s more about noticing the messages people are sending. Believe it or not, we are walking billboards.

Sometimes it is not the easiest of things to be aware of so much especially if the person is not very open. Also, when many of us communicate with others we are so busy preparing our response we are not listening with our ears, eyes or hearts. Not to mention life’s distractions which tend to give little room to look within us let alone onto others. I guess the question here is, how much do you care?  Is this “relationship” worth you investing the time and effort to shift the spot light from yourself and direct it at them to get a closer look? Only you can answer that question.

The Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) called the people to worship one God, none worthy of worship but him. His companions included men and women from different backgrounds; the nobleman, the salve, the Arab and non-Arab with different temperaments. They all believed. The Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) was of excellent character that his own people vouched for before he was sent with the message. He also knew how to speak to people in their own language. He took into consideration the person’s nature and level of understanding and interests. At the time of Hajj, the Prophet (pbuh) spoke to the tribes coming to Makkah for the pilgrimage. He did so after he asked his companion Abu Bakr about each tribe and their background. The Prophet (pbuh) was kind and gentle to children and we know about him prolonging his prostration in prayer because his young grandson had climbed on his back and the Prophet (pbuh) did not want to disrupt his play. Yet when the Prophet (pbuh) was alone and a man came to kill him and said: “Who’ll protect you from me, O Mohammed” the Prophet (pbuh) replied with courage and confidence “Allah”.  

Even when we read the seerah (The biography of the Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) and his companions) some stories will appeal and ‘speak’ to certain people more than others. Alhamdulillah (thanks to Allah) each one of us is unique. When we understand that and start working on it we will, by the grace of Allah, be understood when we speak.  

  

يَفْقَهُوا قَوْلِي  وَاحْلُلْ عُقْدَةً مِّن لِّسَانِي وَيَسِّرْ لِي أَمْرِي قَالَ رَبِّ اشْرَحْ لِي صَدْرِي

{‘Lord,’ said Moses, ‘expand my chest, and ease my task for me. Unloose the knot upon my tongue, that they may understand my speech.} The Quran 20: 25-28

 

 

 

Success is a Continuous Journey

In under 4 minutes

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A Piece of Cake

It was a wonderful wedding; a scenic venue, a gorgeous cake and a beautiful bride, masha’allah. As the cake was the (edible) centre piece that day I decided to make it the (thought provoking) centre piece today.  If your life was a cake, which one would it be? A fruit cake, chocolate or ginger?  Would you like it be dusted with sugar, covered in cream or use icing to sculpt it into a funky design?  Whatever you choose and regardless of how much or little it costs you, I am sure you’d want it to have your signature and reflect your personality.

However pretty you think this cake is it’ll have to be cut and given to the guests. And that’s the hard bit; not the giving away (I’m sure of your generosity) but deciding on the slice size. You see, you have eight guests and each one of them is eager to have a slice. They’ve been eyeing that cake in its glory since they’ve come in.  You know them all though not to the same extent. Roll drums… We have Miss Social, Ms Finance, Miss Health, Mrs Family, Mrs Spiritual, Mrs Marital, Ms Work and Miss Emotions. What a lovely collection of ladies in one room!

If I were in your shoes I’d logically decide to give each guest an equal sized slice. I wouldn’t want to be accused of favouritism now, would I? The reality isn’t that easy though. I can tell you for a fact that when I was a student almost half the cake would’ve gone to Ms Work. She represented my ‘work’ as a full time student with a part time job. That WAS my life. Naturally, I may have to “encourage” Ms Finance to sick to her diet so I don’t give her too big a slice. Not even a medium one. Student life was one of counting the pennies.

I would’ve given the second biggest slice to Miss Social. I loved university. They worked us hard but it was the place where I met most of my closest friends, Alhamdulillah. I felt the warmth of sisterhood and saw the value of sincere advice and support.  

Mrs Family always had a curious quality about her. She gives this feeling that it’s her right to get the biggest slice if not the whole cake. And when you comply you’re not quite sure if you did so lovingly or out of a sense of obligation. On the other hand, I know some parties where Mrs Family was not even allowed into the venue.

Let’s fast forward to now. I am afraid that I haven’t given Mrs Marital a slice yet. I wonder, is it that I don’t like her or maybe she’s allergic to eggs, flour, milk and maybe also cake?!  Miss Emotions is a hard one to ‘read’.  Even though as women we are told time and time again how emotional we are, this is still one of the hardest guests to deal with; she can be unpredictable and fragile and either walks around with a box of tissues or wears a variety of masks to hide a vulnerable inner being.

That leaves us with Miss Health and Mrs Spiritual.  Interestingly both are a change from the inside that with time reflects on the outside. Miss Health isn’t about being stick thin, if she was she definitely wouldn’t be in this party! She’s about the conviction that food is a fuel not an escape. That physical activity is part of life not a burden and that knowing oneself physically at times of wellbeing gives a good clue for when things are not as they should and thus seeking expert advice.

Mrs Spiritual is the quiet one. It’s so easy to understate her value and overlook her great contribution. In this fast paced wheel of a life she is often forgotten and she ends up with the crumbs.

 

Depending on where you are in life, you may decide that the best thing to do is to give the biggest slice to Mrs Spiritual because she represents your humanity and connection to your creator. On the other hand you maybe at a point where you would willingly prefer Mrs Martial. Now, short-term favouritism can be excused but only to restore the balance.  Humans are complicated beings and even the analogy of the eight guests is not all encompassing; it’s just a way of simplifying things to give us a starting point. Do you know the feeling when you have a trillion of things to do and yet you are sitting there doing nothing! It’s because you don’t know where to start.

I invite you to have a nice chat with each of your guests, get to know them better. You’ll have to have a heart to heart with some of them, we just hope it doesn’t turn ugly. With time, commitment and support you’ll in-sha’allah be able to slice that cake a bit more fairly. 

 

Solid Product Do Not Always Get Sold

 

“How great leaders inspire action”

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